he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Randomize