Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
