Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I have fence marks all over my body
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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