you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
