At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
