You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Randomize