i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
