My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Green mimosas i think yes
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
