Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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