she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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