if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
