GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize