then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
