We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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