i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize