What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
