Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
