you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Terrible idea I love it
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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