I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
