3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Randomize
