I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
