I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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