he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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