Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
