So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
