Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
