Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
