This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
