Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize