College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
