once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
