I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
She swung at the pinata with crutches
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Randomize
