Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
