We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
