I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
