ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
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