my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
