Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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