Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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