I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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