you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
