yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
