where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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