Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
