whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
