I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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