I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
