driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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