Its about making memories worth repressing
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize