sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
