so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
