This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
