Nicole vs. Life
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize