The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
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