Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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