You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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