A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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