please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
