so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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