It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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