end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
