nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Randomize
