Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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