Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm at about main and main street
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
