i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
