Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm getting married
To pizza
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
