Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize