yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
