Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
