Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
just come out here and I will go home with you...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
They have beer where we have blood.
Randomize
