I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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