Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize