This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
