Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
