There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Randomize
