i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
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