If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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