We should be called the Road Head Warriors
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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